LISTEN TO YOUR ART
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
Do you love art but hate all of the pretentious douche bag things that come with it? Do you call into question why some paintings fetch over a million dollars in asking price even though they look like a three year old child created it? Does the thought of sipping over-priced wine while strolling through a lifeless art gallery that looks like it just survived an air raid in Williamsburg, Brooklyn make you want to cringe?
If you answered yes to these questions, you just might be eligible to join our cult. I mean club.
Listen to Your Art is a podcast that takes an unfiltered low brow look at high brow culture. You don't have to have a masters degree from a major university to know what kind of art moves and shakes you, or to help you determine if something totally sucks.
We are the Kid Rocks of the art world and we're loitering ourselves into your safe space and plan on squatting for as long as we can. We are turning your Plato's into Playdough, replacing your Chateau Margaux with moonshine, and putting Mona Lisa on a stripper pole and making her earn a living like the rest of us.
Don't get us wrong, we're happy to debate the socioeconomic benefits of art and culture and use big words in an attempt to sound intelligent so all you Sapiosexuals can get your rocks off. However, we like to view ourselves as being inclusive to art lovers of all kinds - so If you get mildly aroused at the idea of the Mona Lisa having to crawl around a dirty cigarette stained floor to collect her dollars after making it rain, please by all means pull up a lazy boy, crack open a Pabst blue ribbon, and let's look at and listen to some art together!
MEET OUR IDIOT HOSTS...
MATTHEW J. PELLOWSKI
Matt is a twenty year film and television veteran who loves philosophical narratives infused with deep thought and undertones of spirituality, yet has decided to spend most of his career making shitty reality TV shows because they pay a hell of a lot better. He has pretty much worked for every television network on the planet and can attest that they are all equally worthless and horrible. About a decade ago, he decided to sell his soul when he left the art of film, for the blood money of television.
He often likes to ask strangers and "new" friends what they think he does for a living, because he usually gets "a drug dealer or a construction worker," never an artist. He has never been one of those nail polish wearing, gothed-out, hate your parents self-cutter artist types. When he wasn't writing poetry and making comic books in High School, he was bro-ing it up on the baseball team and shooting hoops. An athlete and an artist, he is clearly a freak of nature, impenetrable by social stereotypes.
Matt has been described by one of his long time clients as "The nicest mean person they have ever met." When he is not fueled by rage and anger at the stupidity of all of mankind, he enjoys helping his local community through non-profit efforts and trolling people on the internet.
It's amazing that he has an associates degree in graphic design and a BFA from the prestigious School of Visual Arts in Manhattan, because he barely seems literate.
KRISTA GARRAMONE
Krista started out as an intern working alongside Matt and to his surprise, she wasn't a complete moron. With average ability comes great responsibility in the film and TV world, and so she quickly worked her way up to being a producer. Let's not inflate her ego too much though, she did decide to move to Florida for a time which calls into question her judgement abilities.
However, with all this drinking and art debauchery going on around here, someone has to be the designated driver. As the only person who actually seems to enjoy legitimate art history, she makes for the perfect captain to steer this sinking ship.
Krista has a BA from the University of Delaware, which is kind of an oxymoron because people forget Delaware actually exists. When she wasn't majoring in Mass Communications there, she was minoring in Art History and so now you get why she's the brains of our operation. Mmmmm brains.
ROBB ORTEL
Robb Ortel, if that even is his real name, (who the F spells Rob with two b's) is an air brush artist and somewhat of an amateur daredevil. How do you ask? Well let's just say don't ever ask him to leap out of a fucking helicopter into a lake while at a rock concert because he will, and has! When he's not doing his own stunts, he paints goth babes, zombies and classic horror icons with his cute lil paint blow gun. Robb worked for Orange County Choppers as the in house motorcycle painter guy, and was on the long running Discovery Channel series American Chopper.
He studied art at the Fashion Institute of Technology before realizing that paying for art school is a total waste of fucking time and money. He soon learned that all the schooling he needed was right at home, and so he spent 10 years working with his father who was one of the finest gold leaf artists in North America at the time.
When he's not painting custom autos, motorcycles or air brushing nudes of himself to send to random people on craigslist, Robb enjoys ripping pompous artists a new asshole. The Beavis to Matt's Butthead, his take on art is usually pretty simple- it either sucks, or it's cool.